Family Update #1 – Please pray…
Good morning,
Please forgive the impersonal nature of this mass email; a friend of mine just reminded me that there are people in my life who are praying for me already and who want to pray specifically as the Lord leads. That’s why I’m sending you this long email. I want to ask you to pray for my family this weekend. I’m flying home to see mom and dad…two weeks ago my mom called with news that doctors found two sizeable tumors on my dad’s right lung. Since then we have discovered that dad has Stage 4 Lung Cancer that has spread to the middle of his chest (in his lymph nodes), his adrenal gland, the 4th vertebrate in his lower back, his right hip, his right collarbone, and his lymph nodes near his right arm. Dad has undergone a number of tests and we are working with Dr. Michael Park who is located near my parent’s home in Carrollton, TX. The cancer is pretty severe and Dr. Park is telling us that it has reached the point where it us treatable but not curable…he is giving my dad between 9 – 12 months to live.
What does all this mean? We are unsure about what will unfold, but in the words of my dad’s first doctor, “the horse is out of the barn and there’s no getting him back. The cancer is spreading.” Dad is 79 and is otherwise in great shape, he has probably had cancer for about a year now, and at this point, the goal is to treat the cancer in such a way that it promotes the highest quality of life possible. Because dad is so old we are staying away from the intense chemo and radiation treatments that would wear him down significantly. He will start treatment this week taking a chemotherapy pill called “Tarceva”…there is HUGE praise in all of this – Dr. Park walked us through the numerous treatment plans that are available and when he elaborated on his recommendation to take Tarceva he said that it could equate to an out of pocket expense of $3,000/month. I almost laughed on the phone when he said…there is no way we could handle that. Dr. Park asked my mom to take the prescription to a pharmacy and just see what they say. He mentioned that it could be as insignificant as a normal “co pay” expense or it could be astronomically expensive. Mom called me after leaving the pharmacy in tears of joy saying, “LV, I finally have good news! It’s only going to cost us a $9 co pay!” I just sat back in total relief and thanked God for His provision. He is making Himself known to me and my family in ways that leave me in awe…and to think, it has only just begun. I eagerly await all that God wants to do in my family through this…
Dr. Park has made it clear that the odds are stacked against my dad to live longer than one year. He has encouraged us with the fact that while dad is 79 he is in great shape for his age and full of life. Dad’s high spirited attitude and willingness to engage treatment could have significant impact on his ability to live longer than most. We have been encouraged to be positive with dad and acknowledge that simple fact that we don’t know what is going to happen. God holds the keys of life…only He knows the true time frame.
Please pray for my family in all of this…
Dad – This is no surprise considering that he has smoked for over 60 years, but I think he is starting to see the severity of what all of this means. When I pray for dad I dream of him singing songs of praise to Jesus…I will trust the Lord to draw my dad to Himself. I believe he knows the Lord, and I’m praying that his relationship with God would become intimately sweet. Please pray that God would have His way with my dad…whether it is the healing of his physical body and/or his soul.
Mom – she is superwoman! I don’t know how else to put it. She is taking this on with so much selflessness; it is in her nature to put others first…often at the expense of herself. Please pray that God would give her strength like she has never known while at the same time freedom to cry and deeply feel. Pray that mom would be surrounded with people who remind her of her incredible value.
DR – He is in New York and is doing all he can to be available; I am asking God to use this to remind him, and our entire family, of who God is and how amazing life really is with Him. I am praying that DR would hear from the Lord in all of this…and that he would be reminded of how much he is loved by his dad…and his Dad.
Me – I could go on and on (yeah, like that’s a surprise…I wonder how many people have actually made it this far in the email…I know, I know, I’m wordy J) But God has been stirring in my heart an understanding that He is healing my family through this. My dad has been a significant part of my story and this is a new chapter full of opportunity to really pursue him as my dad in such a way that frees me to know more about what it means to be a son. I praise God that I can honestly sit here and say in full freedom that I no longer hate my dad. In fact, I have become inspired by him in his willingness to grow and mature at the age of 79. He quit smoking three years ago and has been so open to admitting his weaknesses and areas of need. Right now I sense God saying, “LV, go after your dad…pursue Him.” I don’t know what that means, but I am totally surrendered to whatever He has. I am flying home to Dallas this weekend to talk with my parents and discuss next steps for them, for me, and for us as a family.
This has been a pretty rough two weeks for me, and I am struggling to allow myself to feel the depth of all this. I have been pushing down the emotions and tears and am asking God for help in entering the pain. Psalm 126:5 – “Those who sow in tears will reap with joyful shouting.” There is a lot of unknown right now and I have to be ok with that. He is leading me, and our family, one step at a time. I can’t tell you how much God has already made it clear that He is taking care of us…from the great news about the medication to many of you who have already made overly generous offers to help in so many different ways. I can’t say thanks enough…
I will keep you updated with much shorter emails J…Thank you for the significant role you play in my life. Please pray with me…
Thankful,
LV
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